Who’s in Charge?

Today I was asked about how to handle a student with behavior in the classroom. The person who asked was an aspiring future educator and so eager to hear my feedback about her own views and whether or not I had tips for her. Of course I love questions like that because this means the person asking is willing to adapt and make changes for the sake of students. However, what I thought was mind blowing was people’s perceptions of classroom management in general.

Part of the question I received was something like this (People tell me that I have to show students who is in charge so when a child misbehaves I should send them to the corner or give them time out, but I don’t have the heart to do it. Do you have any tips for me?) Keep in mind, the person asking is thinking about joining the field of education as a possibility and is practicing teaching at a Sunday program.

Just asking the question I thought was brave, ambitious and came out of care. My awe comes not from her question but from the perception that if a student misbehaves we automatically assume that the child is a problem child and needs to be set straight.

Let me ask this question to help clarify my awe:

If a person goes to the doctor because of an ailment, does the doctor assume right away that the patient is the cause of the problem and starts reprimanding him/her without doing a thorough examination and asking questions?

The answer is no.

The same goes for behavior problems in the classroom. Before we tell the student what we think of his or her behavior and how it made us feel, we should find out why they felt the need to behave the way they did. My answer to her was: I think you should show the children who is charge.

As the adult in the room you’re the caring, patient and responsible individual all children look up to and therefore you should model kindness, caring, and other behaviors you want students to do and that’s how you show them who is in charge.

As for that child, you should take time and talk to him and build a connection to help him in the long run.

Last thought: as human beings, no matter what situation we face, we should always think how can we leave a positive imprint, help someone, and continue being human as we resolve the situation?